As a pastor, I’ve witnessed cancer beaten many times. When remission or a favorable prognosis is achieved, there are shouts of praise. But other times, cancer strikes quickly and takes lives with shocking speed. Those left behind are left with a hole in their hearts and grief for what once was. I’ve also seen a different kind of cancer—one that affects the soul. It disrupts discipleship, destroys relationships, and halts evangelism. It damages credibility and grieves the Spirit. This is the sin of dishonesty.
God calls His people to be honest and to speak the truth in love. Trust is the foundation of intimacy in a marriage. At work, dishonesty harms not only employees but also customers and stakeholders. In the church, pastors who lead with falsehood lose credibility and burn bridges.
Lying is one of the top ten things God forbids. He cannot lie. Jesus called Himself the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). After ascending to heaven, He promised to send the Spirit of Truth. Because God is truthful and values honesty, so should we. To ignore this is like leaving your brand-new phone on the dashboard with the car doors unlocked—it’s reckless.
But if dishonesty is so damaging, why do people lie? There are many reasons. People lie to protect themselves, get what they want, or avoid embarrassment. Sometimes it feels easier, more convenient, or justifiable.
How can we guide people toward truthfulness? Here are four essential areas to concentrate on: Motive, Confrontation, Modeling, and Prayer.
MOTIVE
Lying is not just an isolated act—it is a symptom of a deeper issue. Yes, lying is a sin, but like all sins, its roots lie in the heart. To truly address the problem, we must dig beneath the surface and address the root cause. Jesus reminds us, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matthew 15:19, ESV, emphasis added).
When someone lies, we should ask, “What is driving this behavior?” Perhaps a person lies because they believe it will preserve a relationship. For example, a man might withhold confession from his wife, thinking that sharing the whole truth will cost him her love. In doing so, he places his trust in his way of maintaining the relationship rather than trusting God. At its core, he is battling unbelief, often unconsciously. Fear takes hold, and faith falters. To truly help someone, we need to understand their motives—the heart behind their words.
CONFRONTATION
The Bible instructs us, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness” (Galatians 6:1, ESV). Once we identify the root of the issue, we can turn to Scripture and examine what God says.
Take the example of the man withholding the truth from his wife. He may need to confront his own beliefs and see them in the light of God’s Word. Through Scripture, he can discover what God says about his identity, hope, and way of life. Gentle, gracious confrontation that addresses the heart is critical to discipleship. By speaking truth in love, we help others see themselves clearly and draw closer to God.
MODELING
If we want to lead others toward integrity, we must pursue godliness ourselves. As the Apostle Paul encouraged the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1, ESV). Modeling faithfulness and honesty is not an act of arrogance—it’s a vital way to teach. Our discipleship strengthens us and keeps hypocrisy at bay.
If we desire to disciple others effectively, we must first strive to be disciples ourselves. Let us live lives that reflect the truth we encourage others to embrace.
PRAYER
Lastly, we cannot underestimate the power of prayer in helping those who struggle with dishonesty. James writes, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16, ESV).
Prayer is often the most impactful work we can do in someone’s discipleship journey. There may be times when confronting someone isn’t our role, or when our example of godliness falls short. Even our understanding of another’s heart may be incomplete. Yet we serve a God who is perfect, wise, and all-knowing. He understands the hearts of men and women, and He alone has the power to transform them. When we trust Him, He can work through our limitations to bring healing and holiness.
Commit your discipleship efforts to God. Pray for those who struggle with lying, and trust in His perfect wisdom and care.
If this has been helpful or sparked your interest, I have recently written a book that delves deeper into the topic of truth and deception. It addresses questions like:
- What does the Bible teach about honesty and dishonesty?
- How should we respond to deception?
- How can we speak the truth in love?
- How do we grow from honesty toward godliness?
I hope it serves as a resource to strengthen your walk and help others pursue a life rooted in truth.
